Dear Abu,
I have been thinking of writing you a letter for the longest time but have been doing it all in my head, a million times perhaps, but never finding the time to pen it down, or maybe it’s the devil that is stopping me because expression of love or gratitude does not go well with his plans, whatever the reason, today I am fighting all excuses and am resolved to get done with this, once and for all.
Abu, as children, no blessing is greater than the blessing of parents for they protect their children from all harm, keep worries away from them even if they themselves are engulfed by them and try their utmost to provide them with a life that is full of love,happiness and fulfillment. That is how it was for us. You and Ami put all your time and energy in giving us the best life that you could and no greater was the realization of this than after I became a parent myself. I have very fond memories of my childhood. I remember how we used to look forward to you coming home and we would stand in a line and greet you by saying adaaab adaaab and how ami used to get ready just before you were about to reach home so a joyful family was there to welcome you when you entered home. I remember the amazing trips you took us to, they are my best childhood memory. We had no idea that it took money, effort and energy to make it all happen, it was a very normal thing for us, we just 'had' to go on a vacation in summers and you always took us. I remember your laughter, your naughty looks, your youthful energy, your adventure stunts, arranging for bbq and karahi cooking in the mountains, taking us to as far as pattika, kuttan, saran, neela and shogran; places that many people never get to explore. It is now that I am finding out how very few kids really get to travel so much within their country as much as you took us around. You always had that passion for traveling and adventure and the temperament too. Your and amas appreciation meant the world to me, which is why when I got a medal, my happiness was seeing how happy and proud you were. I still remember how your face was lit up and what joy it brought you and ama. I remember the duty you and Ami gave to pick and drop us to school, college and then at job. And theres so much more that you have done for us, so much that you didnt let us find out, so much that you worried about or prayed for without us knowing, so much that concerned you but you kept it to yourself, so much that you stood up to with a brave face and a strong soul.
Abu, theres one thing I especially want to mention to you..I dont think I ever really acknowledged it like this but you never discriminated between your sons and daughters and gave us your love, trust and confidence so unconditionally, without which we wouldnt be who we are today. Your love and concious treatment of equality for your daughters, your belief that your daughters have the potential to follow their passion and dreams, your encouragement for us to pursue our passion helped us develop our personalities and potential. Today, I try to replicate all that as I am upbringing my own daughters....
I can never forget the constant support, confidence and encouragement you gave me so many times in my life, times when I doubted myself and you showed faith in me, times when I feared and you gave me courage and confidence. There's one instance I vividly remember. It was Mrs. Phalibus's farewell and as head girl, I had to give a speech in her honor. I was feeling quite clueless and confused, fearing that so many people will already be saying so much about her, how will what I say ever matter or count! And you said something beautiful. You said, 'People have been praising the moon for centuries yet that hasnt stopped anyone from praising the moon still. Everyone does it in her own way...and that's what makes all the difference. You praise too, but in your own way...'
Theres so much I've learned from you ; your affection towards people younger to you and your regard for elders that won you many friends, especially your affection towards strangers, from shopkeepers to waiters; your quiet financial support to the needy ; your integrity and honesty in your work ;your hospitality to your guests ; your patriotism for Pakistan ; your love for Sufism and Punjabi ; your faith in Allah and submission to His will...
As children, we don’t realize at how many ends are parents are struggling and what lengths they go to to give us the life we have. We are lost in our own little troubles that, at that time, seem like the most important matter in the world to us. It is only when we become parents that we realize what goes in the mind of a parent, how many angles we have to consider when taking a decision, how everything has a price, be it putting fuel in the car or putting bread on the table. We realize how parents compromise their own needs and desires for their kids, make sacrifices that children don’t even have a clue of. I don’t know how many times you sacrificied your own plans and needs for us, when our happiness became your happiness....But I want you to know that you are very special to me, I may not be able to voice it, may not be able to show it as much as I'd like but I love you very much. I dont look at you for too long, fearing my eyes will well up with all the love I have for you, all the years I see gone by as you gave your heart and soul to make us who we are today... I know there were times I made mistakes and maybe I still do...but I also know that you will find it in your heart to forgive...actually theres somehting i want to tell you from a daughters perspective, or even from a son....we all want our parents to be happy with us, proud of us, full of joy and love for us....but we all are different human beings too...some kids have the same traits or talents as their parents and so they seem to make it happen with quite ease...but some kids are different, their strengths, talents, opinions and approach is different but they too, seek the love, approval and support of their parents.... Allah is most kind, he not only put love of children in heart of parents but also love of parents in the hearts of children....Some of us just struggle a little more in expressing it effectively but it is what we all are seeking....it is in your presence, in your support, in your shade that we find solace, comfort and peace... the world may laud us but it is your look of pride and approval that we truly desire...although we may struggle to communicate all this...that is why I have put it all in words...I felt I needed to tell you all this, admit all this because many times there is so much we want to say and yet it is left unsaid.....especially words of love, gratitude and acknowledgement.
Thank you, thank you so much for all that you have done and are still doing for all of us...thank you for giving us the best a parent could give a child, thank you for the sensitivity of ensuring that you dont deny your children what you were denied as a child, thank you for a home and a childhood of love, laughter and joyous memories, thank you for the protection, guidance and endless support, thank you for the patience and generosity, thank you for the hugs and duas, for the smiles and jokes, for the respect and affection, for the time and talks, thank you for the sense of patriotism you instilled in us, thank you for the values you raised us with, thank you for teaching us to rely only on Allah, thank you for being a wonderful husband, father and Nana. May Allah continue to bless you abundantly and may the years ahead be filled with many more beautiful memories...
Much love,
Sadaf
I have been thinking of writing you a letter for the longest time but have been doing it all in my head, a million times perhaps, but never finding the time to pen it down, or maybe it’s the devil that is stopping me because expression of love or gratitude does not go well with his plans, whatever the reason, today I am fighting all excuses and am resolved to get done with this, once and for all.
Abu, as children, no blessing is greater than the blessing of parents for they protect their children from all harm, keep worries away from them even if they themselves are engulfed by them and try their utmost to provide them with a life that is full of love,happiness and fulfillment. That is how it was for us. You and Ami put all your time and energy in giving us the best life that you could and no greater was the realization of this than after I became a parent myself. I have very fond memories of my childhood. I remember how we used to look forward to you coming home and we would stand in a line and greet you by saying adaaab adaaab and how ami used to get ready just before you were about to reach home so a joyful family was there to welcome you when you entered home. I remember the amazing trips you took us to, they are my best childhood memory. We had no idea that it took money, effort and energy to make it all happen, it was a very normal thing for us, we just 'had' to go on a vacation in summers and you always took us. I remember your laughter, your naughty looks, your youthful energy, your adventure stunts, arranging for bbq and karahi cooking in the mountains, taking us to as far as pattika, kuttan, saran, neela and shogran; places that many people never get to explore. It is now that I am finding out how very few kids really get to travel so much within their country as much as you took us around. You always had that passion for traveling and adventure and the temperament too. Your and amas appreciation meant the world to me, which is why when I got a medal, my happiness was seeing how happy and proud you were. I still remember how your face was lit up and what joy it brought you and ama. I remember the duty you and Ami gave to pick and drop us to school, college and then at job. And theres so much more that you have done for us, so much that you didnt let us find out, so much that you worried about or prayed for without us knowing, so much that concerned you but you kept it to yourself, so much that you stood up to with a brave face and a strong soul.
Abu, theres one thing I especially want to mention to you..I dont think I ever really acknowledged it like this but you never discriminated between your sons and daughters and gave us your love, trust and confidence so unconditionally, without which we wouldnt be who we are today. Your love and concious treatment of equality for your daughters, your belief that your daughters have the potential to follow their passion and dreams, your encouragement for us to pursue our passion helped us develop our personalities and potential. Today, I try to replicate all that as I am upbringing my own daughters....
I can never forget the constant support, confidence and encouragement you gave me so many times in my life, times when I doubted myself and you showed faith in me, times when I feared and you gave me courage and confidence. There's one instance I vividly remember. It was Mrs. Phalibus's farewell and as head girl, I had to give a speech in her honor. I was feeling quite clueless and confused, fearing that so many people will already be saying so much about her, how will what I say ever matter or count! And you said something beautiful. You said, 'People have been praising the moon for centuries yet that hasnt stopped anyone from praising the moon still. Everyone does it in her own way...and that's what makes all the difference. You praise too, but in your own way...'
Theres so much I've learned from you ; your affection towards people younger to you and your regard for elders that won you many friends, especially your affection towards strangers, from shopkeepers to waiters; your quiet financial support to the needy ; your integrity and honesty in your work ;your hospitality to your guests ; your patriotism for Pakistan ; your love for Sufism and Punjabi ; your faith in Allah and submission to His will...
As children, we don’t realize at how many ends are parents are struggling and what lengths they go to to give us the life we have. We are lost in our own little troubles that, at that time, seem like the most important matter in the world to us. It is only when we become parents that we realize what goes in the mind of a parent, how many angles we have to consider when taking a decision, how everything has a price, be it putting fuel in the car or putting bread on the table. We realize how parents compromise their own needs and desires for their kids, make sacrifices that children don’t even have a clue of. I don’t know how many times you sacrificied your own plans and needs for us, when our happiness became your happiness....But I want you to know that you are very special to me, I may not be able to voice it, may not be able to show it as much as I'd like but I love you very much. I dont look at you for too long, fearing my eyes will well up with all the love I have for you, all the years I see gone by as you gave your heart and soul to make us who we are today... I know there were times I made mistakes and maybe I still do...but I also know that you will find it in your heart to forgive...actually theres somehting i want to tell you from a daughters perspective, or even from a son....we all want our parents to be happy with us, proud of us, full of joy and love for us....but we all are different human beings too...some kids have the same traits or talents as their parents and so they seem to make it happen with quite ease...but some kids are different, their strengths, talents, opinions and approach is different but they too, seek the love, approval and support of their parents.... Allah is most kind, he not only put love of children in heart of parents but also love of parents in the hearts of children....Some of us just struggle a little more in expressing it effectively but it is what we all are seeking....it is in your presence, in your support, in your shade that we find solace, comfort and peace... the world may laud us but it is your look of pride and approval that we truly desire...although we may struggle to communicate all this...that is why I have put it all in words...I felt I needed to tell you all this, admit all this because many times there is so much we want to say and yet it is left unsaid.....especially words of love, gratitude and acknowledgement.
Thank you, thank you so much for all that you have done and are still doing for all of us...thank you for giving us the best a parent could give a child, thank you for the sensitivity of ensuring that you dont deny your children what you were denied as a child, thank you for a home and a childhood of love, laughter and joyous memories, thank you for the protection, guidance and endless support, thank you for the patience and generosity, thank you for the hugs and duas, for the smiles and jokes, for the respect and affection, for the time and talks, thank you for the sense of patriotism you instilled in us, thank you for the values you raised us with, thank you for teaching us to rely only on Allah, thank you for being a wonderful husband, father and Nana. May Allah continue to bless you abundantly and may the years ahead be filled with many more beautiful memories...
Much love,
Sadaf
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