It had been bugging me for a long time; the battle between humility and confidence. I asked many people, many trainers, many teachers but the conflict was still unresolved. It wasnt that complicated though, just that in my humility, I was unable to feel confident about my skills for how much did I really know, for how much could I really deliver or claim to deliver, Questions starting with What if.... surrounded me. What if I mess up, what if someone more learned counters me, what if I don't live up to expectations.
No answer seemed to satisfy me. Some said confidence is you having belief in your skills and arrogance is belief that there is noone out there better than you! Confidence is 'I have skill', arrogance is 'I am the best there is!' I had belief in my skill but I had doubts too; I am good but am I good enough!!? Is my skill anything special or is it just another speck of sand in the desert? Would anyone really value what I say or write or do?
That lack of faith held me back for a long time, from a lot of things. I didn't want to make claims I feared I might not be able to live up to. Then I asked my mentor
Q: I still doubt my ideas. How can I feel confident about them? Like the book club, reading circle, training?
A: The doubt arises because of the consideration over the results/outcomes (expected by you or people) but an effort with noble intention would never cause doubt. You leave the result of an effort to Allah and the doubts will die.
Confidence suits the Creator, not the creation. What suits us is only humility and bowing in need of His grace, no matter how noble our intention and fool proof our effort!
THIS was my moment of EUREKA! I finally saw it, I finally understood! I could never be sure of results or outcomes for who can see the future! I can only pray, have faith and put in my very best, with the belief k Woh izzat rakh le ga, Woh hai na, Woh sumbhaal lai ga! For a long time, I had been carrying the burden alone, my actions contradicted my words, my sermons of faith and belief in Allah otherwise I wouldnt have felt so alone, so vulnerable, so 'at risk'. If I had really believed that Allah was right there, with me, beside me, near me, ALL THE TIME, then I wouldn't have worried so much. If I had really felt His presence, I wouldn't have stressed so much :) Woh itna Raheem hai, Woh kaisay apnay bunday ko sherminda honay de ga, Woh izzatain rakhnay wala hai, Woh mehrbaan hai, Woh sumbhaal le ga....There's so much comfort in this!
And it has come at just the right moment, when I needed it so badly. So here I go, venturing into my parallel training career with Pinnacle :
I have more faith and confidence in His rehmat than in my potential:)
jahan mushkil nazar aaye, wahan Khuda nazar aya....
phir na mushkil nazar aaye, na muhskil ka koi saya...
No answer seemed to satisfy me. Some said confidence is you having belief in your skills and arrogance is belief that there is noone out there better than you! Confidence is 'I have skill', arrogance is 'I am the best there is!' I had belief in my skill but I had doubts too; I am good but am I good enough!!? Is my skill anything special or is it just another speck of sand in the desert? Would anyone really value what I say or write or do?
That lack of faith held me back for a long time, from a lot of things. I didn't want to make claims I feared I might not be able to live up to. Then I asked my mentor
Q: I still doubt my ideas. How can I feel confident about them? Like the book club, reading circle, training?
A: The doubt arises because of the consideration over the results/outcomes (expected by you or people) but an effort with noble intention would never cause doubt. You leave the result of an effort to Allah and the doubts will die.
Confidence suits the Creator, not the creation. What suits us is only humility and bowing in need of His grace, no matter how noble our intention and fool proof our effort!
THIS was my moment of EUREKA! I finally saw it, I finally understood! I could never be sure of results or outcomes for who can see the future! I can only pray, have faith and put in my very best, with the belief k Woh izzat rakh le ga, Woh hai na, Woh sumbhaal lai ga! For a long time, I had been carrying the burden alone, my actions contradicted my words, my sermons of faith and belief in Allah otherwise I wouldnt have felt so alone, so vulnerable, so 'at risk'. If I had really believed that Allah was right there, with me, beside me, near me, ALL THE TIME, then I wouldn't have worried so much. If I had really felt His presence, I wouldn't have stressed so much :) Woh itna Raheem hai, Woh kaisay apnay bunday ko sherminda honay de ga, Woh izzatain rakhnay wala hai, Woh mehrbaan hai, Woh sumbhaal le ga....There's so much comfort in this!
And it has come at just the right moment, when I needed it so badly. So here I go, venturing into my parallel training career with Pinnacle :
I have more faith and confidence in His rehmat than in my potential:)
jahan mushkil nazar aaye, wahan Khuda nazar aya....
phir na mushkil nazar aaye, na muhskil ka koi saya...
agreed with this true approach
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