aoa SB, i feel awkward being the one advising u but ive learned k we should make some rules n include our kids in the process,like how much time can they have for computer, etc. once we come to an agreement, there should be no argument n if there is, there should be a penalty like i tell my daughter that u cant hav lunch until uve had a bath n i usually stick to it. which reminds me that once u make a rule, stand by it otherwise kids will know k they can get their way around by some manipulation n cry baby attitude.be polite but firm n give them good alternatives
9/15, 11:04am
SB
lolzzzzz...parenting is something that we learn from each other...seriously I think much younger mothers are better than me
9/15, 11:04am
Sadaf Usman
i guess we all know these things but wen the actual time comes we all are too driven to act on impulse n not cool headed- 9/15, 11:04am
SB
so I am all ears to learn on this front
my problem is, I can't take the tantrum, I give up easily...
I am mentally occupied with my studies so much that I can't stand the buggin... - 9/15, 11:05am
Sadaf Usman
thats so healthy attitude coz i believe that one should be open to learn n admit that there can b better ways than what we did - SB
Of course, the generation is changing quite fast...we have new challenges all together - 9/15, 11:06am
Sadaf Usman
well if u set a time through mutual agreement, tantrums can give u a reason to cancel even that
like these days my deal with my beti is k i wont tease her n she wont throw tantrums - SB
We did settle on time, two hours a day...but then they start breaking the rules - 9/15, 11:07am
- 9/15, 11:07am
SB
they resist on their homework...
they dont want to clean up
they are not organized at all...
my daughter (12) going to high school now still wants me to choose her clothes for school which makes me sick
she should be doing her stuff on her own now
- 9/15, 11:09am
Sadaf Usman
this calls for a family meeting i guess
u should ask them what they like about their life n what they dont, about u ,themselves n eachother..a time of reflection maybe n u can share with them too ur own feeling - 9/15, 11:11am
- 9/15, 11:11am
Sadaf Usman
like i tell my beti how upset i feel when she misbehaves etc , how it disturbs me n makes me feel like a bad mom, not doing a good job
she tells me she doesnt like when i get angry at her n that makes her more angry
i didnt know this n was surprised k my temper makes her lose hers
that was quite helpful so i realized k if i keep my tone low, she wont go high too
once u guys are open about ur feelings, n complaints
u can start on the path of solution.but first we need to identify the problem
like if ur son could go out with friends , would he b fine with 1 hour of gadget
maybe he needs more activity in life - 9/15, 11:13am
SB
In our case, the problem is their craziness about Ipod and tablet
Sadaf kids in North America are so addicted to these things, you won't imagine
they are watching youtube videos and vines all day frown emoticon - 9/15, 11:14am
Sadaf Usman
u should give this stuff away:D
keep a laptop n that too time locked
or use this as a threat n act upon it
but dont make them feel like the losing party,infact, do it as a family.make a win win situation out of it - 9/15, 11:15am
- 9/15, 11:17am
Sadaf Usman
u really should then i guess.i havent bought these coz with a laptop n a mobile, i have enough to keep track of i feel
would b healthy infact
just do it in a way k they dont feel like ure an enemy
n yeah
first create some alternatives
like what will they do in that time if no tablet or ipad
theres a website, coursera.org
where they can join online courses
n many more im sure - 9/15, 11:19am
SB
I am planning to create a defect in their gadgets evil mom
seriously....
then they have netflix on my smart TV
I repent, why did I buy the smart technology....it's awful
lolzzzzz - 9/15, 11:20am
Sadaf Usman
SB someone once said k if u dont want ur kids to eat junk food, dont bring it in your home
i guess that fits here too - 9/15, 11:20am
SB
anyways, nice chatting with u, keep in touch and I will definitely try the family meeting thing soon
ya, my husband told me....warned me - 9/15, 11:20am
- 9/15, 11:21am
- 9/15, 11:21am
SB
but then social pressure, all the other kids in their circle have these stupid gadgets and they felt left out
like poor kids who don't own gadgets... - 9/15, 11:21am
- 9/15, 11:21am
SB
living in the west create some dilemmas as well
now that they had them, i guess its time to defect them
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