WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, MAKE LEMONADE!!!

The first time I saw her was at the club pool, and it was 'respect at first sight'. I have hardly seen people on a wheelchair in a regular place, let alone a swimming pool where even a physically able person thinks twice before coming, yet there she was, with her beautiful, shy smile, trying to understand the mysteries of the deep. I had no idea that it was THE TANZILA KHAN and neither did she let us find out by acting all important, yet I was in awe of her and of her courage, optimism, and
attitude towards challenges, and thus our friendship began.

During one of our discussions, as I complained about one of the issues at the club, she very casually said, "Why don't you raise it with the management! I'm sure they will look into it." And as we all make excuses, I did too, saying that you know how they are, why would they listen to a regular member and blah blah and she said, "Did you notice there used to be no facilities for the disabled at the club, like pathways, parking areas. I went to the secretary, requested him and did the required paperwork to make it happen! Now the pool, cafe and main club areas, all have special pathways for people on wheelchairs like me!"and my resolve to get to know this amazing young woman grew even stronger.

Here let me tell you that I'm older than Tanzila, a mom of three, yet these things don't stand in the way of me admiring and looking up to her, as I honestly admitted to my daughter," Tanzila has done more without two legs than what I have done with having two!" and as much as it made me feel a little low initially, it gave me the push to do more with my life, for no obstacles stop you other than the ones in your mind and she is a true example of that.

And then the day came. I had been waiting to hear Tanzilas story since forever but just didn't know how to bring it up and 'Lemonade with Tanzila' was the perfect platform for this opportunity. While I was overage for the program, I still applied and made special requests that I be allowed to attend it and am I glad I did. Juggling housework, family and kids, I made it to the event which was held on the busiest day of the week, Sunday!!

The air was welcoming, filled with positivity and laughter and while we all participants were strangers, we were all united in a special bond of respect, optimism and empowerment. For me, the highlight of the event was Tanzilas story and struggle. Born in a landlord family, she had faced the typical gender discrimination so prevalent in our society even today where beti k paida honay per shagun nahe kartay, but being born to enlightened parents, she braved all that with strength and courage. Schooling however was another story. In a country where the constitutional promises of equal rights and facilities for all are mere text on a paper, no school for special children had the standard of education her parents desired for her and thus she went to regular schools. However, there too, she faced challenges, "I had to switch several schools just because a single step made it impossible for me to go to the library, restroom or canteen and my search for a disable-friendly school continued!"

If you come to think of it, children with disabilities are called special children, yet(mostly)no special facilities and arrangements are made (in schools, colleges, markets, public areas, malls,etc) to ACTUALLY make them feel special, welcome and at least equal (if not special) children in the society!!! "I wondered," she said, "how am I special, the world is not made for me, it does not meet my needs, does not accommodate my limitations and yet I am told that I am special!"

Having gone through such challenges, she came out even stronger and braver."I did not want to be identified as the "girl in the wheelchair", I yearned for a better identity for myself and that quest led me to explore my potential!"

As she carried on about her story,my admiration for her grew even stronger. Here was a woman, a physically challenged person, yet she was not on the receiving end of a motivational talk but on the giving end of it. "I had to show the world that I am an asset, not a liability but I did not have it easy."

Facing insensitivity in the society made Tanzila realize that our society needs to be educated to give everyone their due rights and respect be it the elderly, disabled or pregnant women. While we are the heirs of the great legacy of compassion, empathy and human rights, we have put them behind us whereas we see inspiring examples of humanity elsewhere. " On one of my flights, a stranger offered me his place the second he realized that I was handicapped. I don't know his faith, religion, ethnicity or nationality, whether he eats haram meat or halal, but I can never forget his courtesy and kindness. That is what is missing from our society, we don't cash out on the opportunity of humanity, we don't realize its preciousness, its worth!"

And so she is out to do just that. Believing that a woman's job is to nourish, she has set out to nourish the society, sensitize it to the cause of humanity, brotherhood, respect, kindness and equality for all, irrespective of class, creed, religion, gender or physical limitations. I stand beside her and support her in this exciting, noble journey in all and every possible way that I can.


Her beautiful, soulful words, full of optimism, echoed in my mind even hours later"If you study the creation of man, you will see that when Allah created Hazrat Adam(AS), the angels voiced their concern but Allah said, you don't know what I know! Allah had faith in man all along, He believed in us then how can we doubt ourselves, how can we fall in despair, how can we not have faith in our own goodness and potential!"