Tuesday 15 September 2015

Everyone needs a rahbar in their life (part1)


RAHBAR IS A TWO WAY ROAD
YOU THINK, QUESTION AND SEEK ANSWERS, TOGETHER!!!


It was like an oasis in the desert. i had been wanting to do something but with 3 small kids, a full time job was out of the question. That is why when I heard of TCF RAHBAR, I was quite excited.

Only seven Saturdays, 4 -5 hours each time, pick and drop facility, it seemed pretty much possible. All I knew was we would go to a TCF campus in the city and spend time with grade 9 students there, mentoring on life skills.
it seemed a little vague to me and when i attended the orientation, the confusion
grew.
"The kids will amaze you,"," this experience will change you," i have come for my own self", "the program has given me more than i could give it," were some of the views old mentors shared with us and i just didnt know what it all meant.


we were divided into groups,one group for each campus (almost 12 volunteers in our group) with a coordinator to manage the team. i knew absolutely no one and was already having second thoughts. anyway, we introduced ourselves and had a little discussion and then it was time
to leave. i liked the team i was working with. they were decent, polite, friendly people who were pursuing very interesting careers and degrees. it felt
great to see  young, girls exploring their potential and stepping into the world with confidence.
i was paired with a co-mentor and as a team we had a group of four students to mentor.

working with a stranger to mentor 4 more strangers, it seemed quite
challenging, more when you are a person who doesnt open up so easily. but i took it as a job that demanded us to share our personal experiences with
the kids so that they could learn from them and so i did. We were to gather at the stop at HKB, from where we were taken in TCF VANS to the beautiful TCF campus as noorpur, as distant as the name sounds:) but soon, we volunteers got so comfortable that the ride became a joy!!

At the campus, we started off with getting to know the kids, names, interests, family, siblings, good and bad habits
and so on. it didnt come easy. while they seemed in awe of the bajis who had come to spend time with them, their eyes sparkling with excitement, they didnt
want to give any negative impression and so were reluctant to share their weak side. however, when we began being honest about ourselves, our mistakes as
daughters, our selfishness and impatience as sisters, a slight smile of understanding began to appear on their lips as if they knew what we meant and
realized how they tend to do the same at times. Being the eldest, middle, youngest or only child seemed to make a difference and it helped to know it to
understand them better. having known what it feels to be a daughter and a mother, I could tell them what goes in the heart and mind of both. Ami may say shes
not hungry just because she wants you to eat to your hearts content. She may not say it, but she would love a hug and a kiss once in a while. She may be
upset at you because she is tired and would calm down the second you take that bucket load of laundry from her and wash it yourself. and while we talked about
all this, we were listening to ourselves too, and realized how wrong we had been on so many instances. It was a bitter sweet realization that made us want to
rush over and hug our moms and thank them for all they had done and borne.

(it is quite magical to have the opportunity to inspire and motivate someone, n the best part is , while you speak, you hear too n then realize and then apply....it does wonders to your own self!)

another interesting observation was when we asked them who was their most favourite person in the world. the answer was unanimous; the person who cared for and loved them the most. for some it was their father who brought them special treats,for another it was her brother, for one it was her cousin who was always there for her and listened to her. This in itself became a definition of what traits make a person special for someone; one who loves and cares for them. so if they want to become special for someone, that was the route to take.

We discussed the professions of their parents and realized that hard work with honesty is worthy of respect, irrespective of what you do. We couldnt help feeling ashamed how we discriminate the farmers, plumbers, carpenters, painters and mechanics in our society, instilling a low image of them in our kids minds too as if it would be below them to do something like that in life. 'Dignity of labor' had only been a set of words for us but that day we understood its true meaning. These girls had parents who were toiling night and day to give them a better life than they had and we had no right but to instill in them pride and gratefulness for what their parents did, not shame and embarrassment. it was really cute to have one of them state the profession of her father as a farmer instead of a 'kissan'. It seemed as if she felt it will hold more respect in our eyes if she stated it in english.

(the strangers i met at rahbar are some of the most amazing, fun loving and original people who are now my friends:))


We talked about the importance and purpose of education, a question we ourselves had trouble finding the answer to. Is education merely a means to make money, to get rich, to find a degree and job? Or is there a greater purpose, a higher objective!!! It was a struggle to arrive at an answer after quite some brainstorming.

Education is meant to give you the realization of your own capacities and capabilities, to assist you is discovering and digging out the potential you were born with, to help you attain the level of ashrafulmakhluqaat that you were bestowed with, to give you a sense of right and wrong, the courage to practise goodness despite all hurdles and the bravery to condemn evil regardless of what may be the consequences!! It is meant to give you the drive and determination to carry on come what may, to not give up, to stay positive, to not accept defeat or failure, to stay in the race even if you come last for what chance you have by standing out!!!

TO BE CONTINUED.....









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