Gems and Jewels

 Sadaf Sajid:  I've realized we give our girls dreams that may not come true. Like u can become an astronaut n what not

 Sadaf Sajid: Girls boys are equal
 Sadaf Sajid: But they have commitments that demand otherwise
 Sadaf Sajid: Like kids n home
 Sadaf Sajid: How do we balance the dream n reality
 Sadaf Sajid: Our edu system acts blind to this reality
 Sadaf Sajid: N work places too
 Tcf Leenah: How many boys who want to become astronauts become astronauts?
 Tcf Leenah: The ratio of un-met goals isn't starkly different between the genders.
 Sadaf Sajid: Hmm
 Tcf Leenah: The problem is that we, in an attempt to make future a pretty sight for the kids, create an alternate reality world.
 Tcf Leenah: Our job is not to provide them with dreams. Our role is to make them understand the virtue of commitment and the honesty of act.
 Tcf Leenah: Whatever they do, be it flying a spaceship or raising a toddler while plucking cotton in a cotton field, do that knowing fully well that you're doing your best.
 Sadaf Sajid: No we don't give dreams
 Sadaf Sajid: They share their dreams but they should know that they may not happen n how to handle the disappointment
 Tcf Javeria: So true Ms. Leenah
 Tcf Leenah: The problem is that we place our goals outside ourselves :)

Jobs. Careers. Position. Status. 

These are, at best, the addendums. Whenever we encourage children to dream in terms of these we put a limit on their potential as a human.
 Sadaf Sajid: Plz keep going this is helping
 Sadaf Sajid: 😊
 Tcf Javeria: All we need to teach them is that to be a good human being. Which incorporates what Ahsan sahab told me: "Jaisa Allah se salook chahtay ho. Uski makhlooq k sath bhi waisa salook rakho."

Meaning you are a good and successful human without a degree, without your parents, without a job, if you know the difference b/w right and wrong and on their way to become a better person you uplift others as well.
 Tcf Javeria: Life shall go on without money, parents and education...what will be left behind is what we did in this world and how it affected others. Once our children are strong in this basic knowledge....whatever they do in their life will turn to gold.
 Tcf Leenah: Our Prophet, whom we call the best sample of a human, tied his own shoes. Washed his own clothes. Ate nothing but dates dipped in water. Wiped his blood when the body was pelted with stones. 


Where were the dreams? Did he not have any dreams?  

He had. And his were like we should have ours - he was assigned a job, he HAD to do it to the fullest of his capacity.
 Tcf Leenah: If they have dreams to fly high, it is beautiful. 

Tell them to grow their roots first. So that one day if the wings can't take the pressure of the opposing gale, they don't fall face down.
 Tcf Javeria: He did his assigned tasks With compassion, Humility and respect
 Tcf Leenah: And this can only be done when their strength comes not from their target residing far away in future, but from the character they're harboring right now.
 Tcf Leenah: Exactly Javaria. True.
 Tcf Leenah: I had a friend who couldn't get into medical college. She spent 4 years coming to terms with the set back.
 Tcf Leenah: The point is, how good is the dream of becoming a certain professional when ander ka insan is so vulnerable? :)

Ander ka insan strong karna asal issue hai. Professional qualifications, for girls as well as boys, come second.
 Tcf Leenah: Quality of the person, that is our only reality. 
Make the reality strong and dreams will mould themselves around.
 Tcf Leenah: Does it help clarify anything Sadaf?
 Sadaf Sajid: More than that
 Sadaf Sajid: Jazak Allah

 Tcf Leenah: :) I'm glad. 

The first hero speaker I listened to at my first Rahbar cycle had shared something that I  find absolutely beautiful ....


He said that his father had always taught him one thing, that if everything in life fails and he - the son, ends up with nothing but a "گنے کے رس کا ٹھیلا" (gannay kay rus ka Thaila), his should be the best drink serving Thaila of the town. 

Dil ka rus nikalna, ganna samajh kar; the old man had taught his son.
 Tcf Leenah: I loved it. :)